It’s strange that most modern Western evangelicalism has language describing baptism that is completely opposite of what the Bible actually says. The video below expounds the true story of how Paul must have accidentally made these gross errors.
Most Lutherans practice in infant baptism (due to the comparisons in the New Testament with the covenant sign of circumcision) , but even if you don’t agree with that part, you get the general gist.
I recently discovered the Lutheran Satire videos, and couldn’t stop watching them once I started. I think you’ll get the same addiction.